Marriage

The topic of marriage is a challenging one. After Jesus spoke about marriage, how there’s only one reason for divorce in Matthew 19:1-9, notice what His disciples said: “The disciples said to Him, ‘If the relationship of the man with his wife is like this, it is better not to marry.’” The disciples were correct. What Jesus taught was challenging for them to hear and it’s even more challenging for us at times to hear. People often say, “Matthew 19:9 is so restrictive and narrow.” It is! However, if we didn’t have Matthew 19:9, and only had the other passages in the gospels where Jesus spoke on this subject, it would be even more restrictive. Consider the following passages.

Luke 16:18: “Everyone who divorces his wife and marries another commits adultery, he who marries one who is divorced from a husband commits adultery.”

Mark 10:10-11: “In the house the disciples began questioning Him about this again. And He said to them, “Whoever divorces his wife and marries another woman commits adultery against her; and if she herself divorces her husband and marries another man, she is committing adultery.”

Matthew 5:31-32: “It was said, Whoever sends his wife away, let him give her a certificate of divorce; but I say to you that everyone who divorces his wife, except for the reason of unchastity, makes her commit adultery; and whoever marries a divorced woman commits adultery.”

If we didn’t have Matthew 19:9, we wouldn’t have any reason for divorce. Jesus has given one reason for divorce which is due to sexual immorality.

Let’s return for a moment to the disciples and how they responded in Matthew 19:10: “If the relationship of the man with his wife is like this, it is better not to marry.”

Another myth we could add to the list is that someone HAS TO BE MARRIED to be happy. That is simply not true. Make no mistake, marriage should bring two people happiness. But it is possible for a person to remain single. It is possible for a person who is single to live a holy life. It is possible for a person to enjoy life without the sexual relationship and children. There are times for some where it is better not to marry. Yet our society, parents, and friends can push family and friends to rush into marriage. We must be wise with who we marry. Even after being patient and wise, great work will be required to foster the relationship.

When people hear what Jesus says in Matthew 19:9, some respond like His disciples did with more questions or statements of great surprise. It could be the case that some feel that it’s not fair that the guilty party (who commits immorality) does have a right to remarry if the innocent party puts them away in divorce.

It is important to understand a few things.

1. Marriage is a great privilege from God! It’s a blessing He’s given us while on earth. We will not be married in heaven, Matthew 22:29-30.

2.  What Jesus has given us is fair in every way! There are times where a person commits a sin, while they can be forgiven, they may forfeit their privilege to participate in a state, condition, or relationship that they previously enjoyed, even though they have been forgiven.

a.        That happened with Adam and Eve, Genesis 3-5. They sinned and were driven out of the Garden. God was merciful to them and provided for them, yet they lost what they had in the Garden.

b.        That happened with Esau, Hebrews 12:16. He sold his birthright. He was no longer able to regain his birthright, no matter how many tears he shed.

c.        This happened with Moses, Numbers 20:7-12. Could he be forgiven? Yes. But he was now banned from entering the promised land due to his choices, Deuteronomy 32:1-52.

3.        This should be another reminder for us about taking our marriages seriously, the warnings of God seriously, and doing our very best to make our marriages great.

The subject of marriage, divorce, and remarriage is a challenging one. Jesus says, “Not all men can accept this statement, but only those to whom it has been given.” We must decide to trust Jesus in everything He says. We must remember that His yoke is not burdensome but is light, Matthew 11:28-30.